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Therefore, even when a person has a good heart or good intentions and we like them personally, they cannot win our trust if they’re not capable of doing what they promise. If you think a person, leader or organization is not capable of doing what they are supposed to do, you cannot trust them. Competency: This is another element that is central to building trust.On the other hand, when people share their thoughts, feelings and considerations, or when an organization, usually through its leader, tells its members what is going on, everyone knows where they stand and trust can flourish. When management meets in secret or does not share important information, team members can easily become distrustful. Transparency: People are anxious about unknowns and tend to assume the worst when they’re not informed about a new development.Reliability and Dependability: A person or group that is true to their word and fulfills their commitments encourages trust.Since trust is so important in both working and personal relationships, how can we monitor it, build upon it and heal it when it becomes frayed? It is useful to view trust as a natural response to certain qualities in a person, group or organization, and the absence of these qualities will diminish the level of trust. People are not quick to reinvest in a relationship where trust has been broken. If members of a team or relationship lose trust in each other, it takes a great deal of work to restore it. Yet even trust that is earned can be quickly lost and cannot be quickly regained. Indeed, any successful relationship - whether it’s leader to follower, consultant or coach to client or the relationship between spouses, siblings and friends - relies on a level of trust that must be earned. To be effective, a leader must earn the trust of his or her constituents to ensure their participation and allegiance. Trust is often related to leadership and power, but it is not a given. How can you fix something that is not expressed or shared? How do you even know that trust is lost? Paradoxically, there must be at least a little trust in order to discuss its lack and make attempts to rebuild it, while if the loss of trust remains unaddressed, the relationship will grow more and more distant. The hiddenness and personal nature of trust can be a problem for relationships, teams or organizations. So a leader or loved one may be slow to discover that they have lost a person’s trust. But, more often than not, people feel that their distrust is not safe to share. They might think to themselves, “This is all you deserve,” or, “This is as all I am willing to give.” In contrast, when the trust level is high, people reward it by giving more. If the level of trust is low in a relationship or organization, people limit their involvement and what they are willing to do or share. When trust is present, things go well but when trust is lost, the relationship is at risk. One dictionary definition of trust is “feeling safe when vulnerable.” When we depend on a leader, family member or friend, we can feel vulnerable, and we need trust to manage the anxiety of this feeling. When trust is intact, we will willingly contribute what is needed, not just by offering our presence, but also by sharing our dedication, talent, energy and honest thoughts on how the relationship or group is working. On the positive side, trust makes people feel eager to be part of a relationship or group, with a shared purpose and a willingness to depend on each other.
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And those who have done something to lose our trust may not even know it. This loss of trust can be obvious or somewhat hidden - especially if we pretend to be present but inwardly disengage. As a result, we pull back from that person and no longer feel part of their world. We may not show it outwardly, but we are less likely to tell the formerly trusted person that we are upset, to share what is important to us or to follow through on commitments. We go on an internal strike, not wanting to be sympathetic to the person who we feel has hurt us or treated us wrongly.
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When that happens, we withdraw our energy and level of engagement. Trust is hard to define, but we do know when it’s lost. That’s why we need to trust our leaders, our family members, our friends and our co-workers, albeit in different ways.
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Trust in a leader allows organizations and communities to flourish, while the absence of trust can cause fragmentation, conflict and even war. Its presence cements relationships by allowing people to live and work together, feel safe and belong to a group. The one that’s the glue of society is called trust. There are just a few elemental forces that hold our world together.